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The bottom button turns the toy off and on (long hold) and cycles through five vibration patterns (press). The upper buttons move the intensity up and down through five levels. According to the manufacturer, the Aer can fully charge in two hours and can operate at the highest setting for up to one and a half hours on a full charge.

With its flame-shaped head and rounded nose, the Firefighter provides both targeted clitoral stim and a broader labia massage, using four speeds and two pulsation patterns to unlock all your hot spots. It's silky-soft and super-quiet, and the easy-to-hold design is a definite crowd-pleaser. There’s a lot of work left to do to make teledildonics secure, from updating laws, to encouraging threat disclosure programs, to making sure companies include basic security protocols. For now, Mozilla’s gift guide is a pretty good place to start if you want a smart sex toy but don’t want your kinks and proclivities exposed for all to see. But it shouldn’t be on you to make these toys safe---companies should make them safe by default.

They’re made to be more resistant to breakage, which means they’re perfectly safe to use. Some people dislike glass dildos because they don’t flex the same as other materials, like silicone, which could make inserting them less comfortable. But since glass is temperature-sensitive, you have the option to warm it up or cool it down, which can create new sensations.

The best models are usually curved and feature vibrating or manual stimulation options. Our sex life has been good but has become less and less frequent as the kids have gotten older. Ninety-nine times out of 100 I am the initiator because I have the more active libido. I’ve suggested we schedule sex but she says that feels like too much pressure. I’ve recommended we try to find time when it’s just the two of us (meeting back at the house during a lunch break while the kids are at school) but she doesn’t like the idea of us going back out into the world after sex.

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In those cases, "be very mindful about application and use," Switzer says. "Gently test temperature items on a small area of skin to gauge sensitivity." If you have any concerns about an object, run it by your ob/gyn (awkward conversation, we know, but better than an infection!) or skip it. Oh man, you’re the only person who can answer that question. Have you ever used toys or implements during sex with your wife, and, if so, what has her general opinion of them been? If she’s been put off, then it’s worth considering how much more upset she might be to discover you using a sex toy alone.

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